I imagine a child wandering off onto a road. A panicked parent rushes to snatch and snap the little one out of harms way. Anger, fear, and shoulder shaking. A raised voice criticizing and demanding, what’s wrong with you? and don’t ever do that again. Then the shock and pain of a spanking. I am coming to understand now why I instinctually beat myself up so much at near misses and innocuous blunders. I tried to speak kindly to myself like I’m a little child to no avail. I’ve realized it’s not the kid inside who’s upset or scared, it is a protective parent. What I’d say to soothe a frantic parent greatly differs from a startled pre schooler. Everything is okay. Nothing bad happened. You’re not a bad person. This happens to more people than you think. I am okay. I love you.