With the Vancouver Canucks playoff exit now nothing but a distant speck in the rearview mirror, finding new things to get outraged about at this final stretch in the season isn’t easy.

So thank you, and fuck you, Luke Gazdic.

Fuck you, and thank you, for reminding Vancouver hockey fans there’s a reason it’s us against the rest of the country, continent, and planet. And for also confirming that the hockey world hates us just as much as we hate every team not named the Canucks.

Except that is, for the next week or so, the Florida Panthers, who we’re proud to endorse, celebrate, and root for as Canada’s official team in the Stanley Cup Finals. Get that stick in your teeth and let them know you’re there, Matthew Tkachuk.

But back to the main thread here: also fuck you, Edmonton, and not just because you once employed Luke Gazdic.

This week, the former professional pugilist turned Hockey Night In Canada in-studio analyst appeared on Oilersnation Everyday with Tyler Yaremchuk—a podcast of zero interest to anybody except those unable to escape the screaming shithole known as Edmonton, Alberta.

Gazdic used an interview on the platform to make it clear that, if there’s one fan base he’d rather not give a TED Talk to, it’s that of the Canucks—especially Vancouver fans who spend their every waking moment on Twitter.

Among his podcast comments were: “Canucks Twitter, you’re an absolute joke, your team’s a joke, you’re a bunch of losers. So, the Oilers are going to the Stanley Cup Finals, and I hope you guys are having fun watching it on TV and watching me on the panel, because you guys are not there. Have fun with your little whining tweets.”

Un. Fucking. Real. You goddam, unapologetic homer.

Not done there, Gazdic also teed off with:

“My account still will not stop with Canucks trolls. I’m going through Instagram message requests and the amount of hate … It’s the most garbage gibberish trash I’ve ever seen. Canucks Twitter, you are an absolute joke. Your team’s a joke. You’re a bunch of losers.”

The temptation here for all Canucks lifers is to do some simple math. Take Gazdic’s total career NHL games, divide that by his number of points, and then add to the equation the video where Brian McGrattan pounds the shit out of him.

Instead, let’s keep things classy, partly because, while Canucks Nation has dubbed him a poor man’s Kevin Bieksa, Gazdic is actually pretty likeable, as well as knowledgeable—not to mention kind of foxy.

And, unlike 99 per cent of the keyboard gangsters on Twitter, he’s had the nards to not only go with McGrattan, but also Milan Lucic, Chris Neil, and everyone’s favourite boxing hobo on skates, Tom Sestito.

So rather than burying him, let’s celebrate Gazdic for his confirming, once again, that the whole world, including the on-air talent at the CBC, fucking hates us. To quote the great prophet Johnny Rotten in the Sex Pistols’ “Pretty Vacant”: “We don’t care.”

And rather than pick on Gazdic for daring to have a favourite team—um, Bieksa does, even if he’s smarter about it—let’s instead hit back where it might hurt the most: by hating the team that he’s pulling for.

The man bleeds blue and orange, this despite the fact the Edmonton Oilers have won precisely zero Stanley Cups for the past 34 years. Imagine accomplishing less than nothing despite having three first-round picks in the past 15 years.

You know how many first-round picks the Canucks have had in their half-century of woes? If you guessed absolutely goddamn none, you win a signed Jake Virtanen jersey.

So let’s fucking go, Florida, who are officially now Canada’s team here on the West Coast, where every team not known as the Canucks or the Panthers (and the Washington Capitals) can suck it.

Do your worst, Sam Bennett—give Connor McDavid something real and painful to dive about. As in something even better than the Oilers captain getting an instant karma lesson from Canucks defensemen Nikita Zadorov and Carson Soucy. And be warned: Gazdic is going to turn on you next.

Ps. Bonus points for Elliot Friedman standing up for Gazdic, even if the man should be able to, based on his career, fight his own battles.